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Anthropomorphic Absurdity
By Retzyn (QUIT), Plantsvszombiesfanatic the fabulous one and Young Little Unicorn. Name by Yoyle Jefferson. Contestants (and Personality) MP3 - The Host. Kind on the outside. In the inside...sadistic. Shopping Bag - A shopping freak. Short-tempered, diva-like, and loves to text on Objectbook. Cologne - Shopping Bag's boyfriend. A valleyboy who acts very sassy sometimes. Spinach Can - Has a raspy voice. Has lived in a farm for many years. Easily flustered. Hay Bale - Clumsy. Former boxer, wears cowboy hat. Will never back down from a fight. Mint - Very nice to friends. Freaks out when she doesn't smell perfect. Armless. Paperclip - Tries to be helpful and nice, but usually messes up or accidentally says mean things. Legless. Trampoline - Small, likes to have fun. Very confident in her friends. Very nice to friends but has low self-esteem. Armless. Pincushion - Mean and arrogant, ruthless. Uses voodoo dolls. Keyboard - Tech freak. Writes fanfics and loves gaming. Pencil Grip - A rogue who likes to kidnap pencils and other thin objects. Armless. Colored Pencil - Very optimistic and crazy. Kinda like Pinkie Pie. Laser Gun - Evil and mean. Has no friends, is a psychopath and kills anyone who angers him (or at least attempts to) Spatula - Loves cooking, even has his own cooking show. May cook people if very angry. Sharpie - Selfish and careless. Writes on people when angered. Snowflake - Tries to be special, but can't deny that he isn't unique. Music Box - Really good at singing, but everyone thinks her singing is fake. Gets upset when people call her singing fake. Fork - Normally nice and kind, but the slightest annoyance can trigger her giant rage. Unlike most minor antagonists, she has many friends. Gum - Blueberry flavored. Boastful and is a big bully. Targets the nicest people. Dumbbell - Guest star from ABBSUO, though no one thinks of him as a star. Who would anyway? A strong competitor but well sacrifice himself for anyone, even his enemies or rivals. Kinda dumb. Fits his name. Mug - Addicted to Coffee. Always wears shades. Steals coffee from bad guys. Episode 1 MP3: Hello everyone! I am your host, MP3! Welcome to Anthropomorphic Absurdity my new reality TV show! Our 20 contestants will battle it out for their own custom planet with their own people and can invite their friends over. Cool right? (Haha. Can't wait to WORK THEM TO THEIR DEATHS! MWAHAHAHAHA) Let's see our contestants? Shopping Bag: And I was like, OMG no way, and she was like, totally. I so have to like post that on Objectbook. MP3: You mean Facebook? Shopping Bag: SHUT UP! Objectbook, duh. What's Facebook? Cologne: Oh yeah like, that must like, be the human version of Objectbook. Pah, stupid humans. Shopping Bag: Oh hi Cologne. Like, Cologne is my boyfriend and I'm shopping bag. And OMG wow Cologne where did you get that new bow? We need to go to Wal-Mart tomorrow to buy one for me, okay sweetie? MP3: SHUT UP YOU IDIOT--I mean um, ah, yes. Next contestants, Spinach Can and Hay Bale. Spinach Can: Back in the old days, we had smarter children! Hay Bale: Are you calling me NOT smart?! Spinach Can: No sweet lil' young lady, I ain't no evil villain. Hay Bale: Did you call me little? You're so mean! Spinach Can: Aw, thank you young lil' lady! Hay Bale: Oh great. MP3: So next Mint Paperclip and Trampoline. Trampoline: Hey Mint wanna have some fun? Mint: Yea but first I gotta take a shower, I smell one percent bad, I'm gonna die soon. Paperclip: I hope so. Mint: What did you just say?! Paperclip: Oh, I'm so, so sorry! I didn't mean to say that! Mint: Grr... Cologne: OMG like Paperclip! You're so rude, numbskull! Paperclip: And YOU sir, are a GUY. NOW START ACTING LIKE IT BEFORE I--Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be rude-- Cologne: *sniff* *sniff* WAH!!!!!!!!! MP3: Yes, he's crying--I mean, ahem. Next is Pincushion Keyboard Pencil Grip and Colored Pencil. Pincushion: Die everyone!!! Keyboard: Wait first I need to fix a bug on my computer-- Pincushion: SHUT THE-- Pencil Grip: Ooh, a cusser. Colored Pencil: HEY GUYS! WOOHOO! I LOVE LIFE! Pencil Grip: Aha! My perfect victim! *kidnaps Colored Pencil* Pincushion: DIE! *Uses voodoo doll to kill Pencil Grip* Colored Pencil: THANKS FOR RESCUING ME! WANNA BE BEST FRIENDS?!!! Pincushion: No. MP3: Woah woah woah you killed him. Good think I have the "Master Recovery Song" on me. *Plays song and recovers Pencil Grip* MP3: So yeah next up. Spatula Sharpie Snowflake Musicbox and Fork. Snowflake: Hey guys I'm a special person. Are any of you listening-- Spatula: Hey Sharpie want me to teach you how to cook? Sharpie: Shut up! *writes on Spatula* Spatula: HOW DARE YOU! I'M GONNA COOK YOU! *tries to cook Sharpie* Sharpie: Haha you cannibal OW it's hot. Fork: Oh no sharpie! *saves Sharpie* Spatula: Stupid. Fork: WHAT DID YOU SAY?! Spatula: I said "STUPID"! Fork: HOW DARE YOU! Music Box: ♪Fighting will only make it worse...♪ Fork: SHUT UP MUSIC BOX. NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR FAKE singing! Music Box: ♪But...♪ Spatula: Stupid it's obviously pre-recorded. Music Box: ♪I...♪ MP3: Anyway Mug Gum and Dumbbell are next. Mug: ... Gum: Shut up everyone. I'm drinking coffee. Mug: SCANNING FOR BAD GUYS. FOUND BAD GUY. NAME: GUM. DRINKING COFFEE. MUST STEAL COFFEE. *Steals coffee and drinks it* Gum: How DARE YOU!!! DEATH WILL COME TO YOU! Oh wait your name is my name backwards. Cologne: Lol. Gum: WHAT THE--Where did YOU come from?! Cologne: Details details. Dumbbell: Hey guys I'm Dumbbell from ABBSUO I'm a guest star. Cologne: No one likes you stupid like, Dumbbell. Go away. Dumbbell: WAIT A LASER IS GONNA SHOOT YOU--AH!!! *Dumbbell jumps in the way of the laser and gets killed trying to save Cologne* Cologne: OMG like DUMBbell! Sure thanks for SAVING me but you dont have to be so DUMB. Laser Gun: MWAHAHAHA! DEATH WILL COME TO YOU ALL! !@#&($#@^#$%#$%^&(@%$^(*&! Cologne: OMG you killed him and you are cussing so MUCH! *Dumbbell is recovered* MP3: K so I have already arranged the teams. Team 1: Cologne Shopping Bag Spinach Can Hay Bale Mint Paperclip Trampoline Pincushion Keyboard Pencil Grip Team 2: Colored Pencil Spatula Sharpie Fork Music Box Snowflake Mug Gum Dumbbell Laser Gun MP3: So yeah every day you guys will do challenges and the losing team will be up for elimination and you can vote off other contestants and also can give a contestant a "like" vote which is where you nominate them to get a prize and you cannot vote for yourself. WOAH that took a lot of breath. Anyway, episode 1's challenge is to...Well actually I wasn't too prepared so I guess it is a coin toss. Heads is Team 1 UFE and Tails is Team 2 UFE. *Lands on Heads* MP3: Ok. So tonight vote for anyone on Team 1! Elimination Ceremony MP3: K so have you all voted? Good. So let me read the votes. First we will give out the prize. None of you had any likes except three people who were Shopping Bag, Cologne, and Mint. Shopping Bag: OMG! Cologne: Like totally! Mint: Yay! MP3: Sorry to say two of you had only 1 like and the other had 18 likes. And the person with 18 likes is...Cologne. Cologne: OMG yay! MP3: Your prize is...makeup! But boys don't use makeup so-- Cologne: OMG! *Puts on makeup* MP3: I guess you proved me wrong. Anyway, three of you received dislikes and they are: Paperclip, Cologne, and Pincushion. One of you had 1 vote and the other had 9 votes and the one eliminated had 10 votes. The first one safe is... *Spotlight on Paperclip* Paperclip: Yay! MP3: So Paperclip you live another day. So Cologne or Pincushion. This TV will show the votes. TV: ...Cologne - 9 votes Pincushion: NOOOOOOO! I CAN'T BE ELIMINATED WITH 10 VOTES! I'LL USE MY VOODOO DOLL-- *Flinged to the Room of Losers* (At the Room of losers) Pincushion: @$(*&!^$#)( what is this place! TV: There are computers, internet, beds, and amiibo here and nothing else. You and the other ELIMINATED contestants will live here forever until the show ends. Pincushion: NOOOOO!!!!! Episode 2 *At the Room of losers* Pincushion: Hey TV idiot! TV: What? Pincushion: Um you lied there is a TV here. TV: That's me you dumb idiot. My brother does the other stuff and I'm here so you can watch the show. Pincushion: This. IS. STUPID!!!!! *Cologne appears out of nowhere* Cologne: Yeah, like you. Pincushion: What the f-- *Cologne disappears* MP3: So hi guys it's me again! Cologne: Tch. And it's not like we want to see you anyway. MP3: Shut up. Anyway today's challenge is to stay on your flying treadmill. If you fall you fall into the water. And you CAN throw things at each other. The last one standing's team wins. Cologne: OMG like this is so hard! MP3: It's barely moving. Cologne: Like no it's not it's so like totally hard. Paperclip: That's cause you're weak. *Cologne falls* Shopping Bag: OMG Cologne I'm coming with you! *Shopping Bag jumps* Cologne: Luckily I can like, swim. Tho it's gonna ruin my smell. Mint: That's terrible! Shopping Bag: And I just bought a new glove! NOW IT'S WET! ARGH! Cologne: Honey calm down. Shopping Bag: NO! *Accidently slaps Cologne* Cologne: OMG like we're gonna break up if you are gonna like, do that. Shopping Bag: Oh no like I'm so sorry plz I don't wanna leave you! WAH! DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME-- Cologne: Lol jk I was kidding. Shopping Bag: Good. Mint: I can't do this. Spinach Can: What's wrong lil' lady? Mint: Sweating will make me die! AH! *Spinach Can and Mint fall* Paperclip: Hey Hay Bale! Want me to help you? Hay Bale: ...Sure? Paperclip: Ok here... *Accidentally makes Hay Bale and Paperclip's treadmill go super fast making them fall* Hay Bale: Gr... Paperclip: Sorry Sorry OW! *Punched in the face by Hay Bale* Hay Bale: THAT is what you get. Snowflake: See guys I'm special I can't fall-- *falls* Snowflake: Oops. MP3: So so far 3 vs 9. Looks like team 1 is losing. Take a break while I press this button... Trampoline: S-something seems s-suspicious... MP3: Mwahahaha! *Presses Speed Up Button* Trampoline: E-eek! *Everyone but Keyboard and Fork fall off* Keyboard: M-must...win...can't...fall in water...or will...die... Fork: Gotta...g-gotta win this...for all m-my friends... ONE HOUR LATER MP3: So it seems Fork has lost and Keyboard's team: Team 1, is safe from elimination. Come to the elimination ceremony RIGHT NOW. Fork: ... Gum: FORK! YOU LOST! Fork: Sh-shut up! IT WASN'T MY FAULT! MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE LIVED LONGER!!! Gum: I DON'T CARE! Laser Gun: #@$&*)(!$@_*($@%&(*@%$!$_$%# Elimination Ceremony MP3: So all 19 of you voted. Now to see the likes... TV: Colored Pencil 11 Likes, Music Box 4 Likes, Fork 3 Likes MP3: So Colored Pencil your prize is a Pinkiepie doll. She acts just like you too! Colored Pencil: YAY! HEY PINKIEPIE, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Pinkiepie: PINK OF COURSE! NOW LET'S PARTY! Colored Pencil: WOOHOO! PARTY TIME! MP3: Not yet. Anyway, first safe are...Colored Pencil, Snowflake, Music Box, Fork, Mug, Sharpie, and DUMBbell. Colored Pencil: YAY! Dumbbell: Hey! MP3: K so now. Gum, Spatula, and Laser Gun. Looks like another boy is going home. The one with 1 vote is... S U S P E N S E MP3: ...Spatula. Spatula: Yay! I promise not to cook you! Laser Gun: STUPID IDIOTS! Gum: You...YOU. YOU BRATS! MP3: Not surprised you guys are in the bottom 2. One of you had 2 votes the other had the record of 16 votes. Second person voted out of Anthropomorphic Absurdity! ... S U S P E N S E MP3: Duh, LASER GUN! Gum: FINALLY! MP3: Goodbye stupid idiot meanie bully cusser. Laser Gun: @!?&%^*@*!!!!!! *Flinged to the Room of Losers* MP3: Makes sense that those two--Pincushion and Laser Gun--were the first two out. Two big stupid meanies. Shopping Bag: Pffft. Like you. MP3: Shut up. Elimination Table Reasons for Eliminations Pincushion (20th Place) 10 votes He was very mean and a big bully. He cusses and is officially the second meanest character of all time. Not surprisingly, he was beaten by Cologne, a much nicer character. Laser Gun (19th Place) 16 votes HIGH RECORD!!!!! He was officially the meanest character of all time. Stupid bullies are obviously gonna get out first. Of course, he probably would've been eliminated first if it weren't for his team winning last episode. Category:Plantsvszombiesfanatic Category:Fan Fiction Pages Category:Young Little Unicorn